A global pandemic is something I never saw coming. Being stuck indoors all day aside from a short garage workout, and a post apocalyptic trip to Vons every few weeks has me really looking at life a little bit differently these days.

We are living history right now; in real time. Generations after us will read about this in their history books, and by then it will seem so far away…so unrealistic. Growing up we read about the plague and the Spanish Flu and likely thought that sickness that wipes out entire nations was something of the past. We are too smart fort that now, too advanced. 

Covid-19 came like a storm in the night, and took us all by surprise. My thriving wedding business came to a screeching halt as gatherings over 10 people became outlawed, and suddenly the security of my home, my business, and my future became a little shaky.

Pivoting is something that is absolutely crucial as a small business owner. I watched my parents do it over and over again throughout my childhood, never letting a failing economy break them. When this all hit, part of me wanted to go hide and wait for it all to be over, but then I realized that what I had been given was a gift. 

I never had enough time. Time to grow, stretch, and morph my business in the ways that I dreamt. Time to learn new skills, to build online education, to try and fail until I tried and succeeded. So I vowed to myself that while I would take full advantage of not having to set an alarm, and cherish every slow morning with my man and our two pups, I would also push.

I would pivot.

I took it one step at a time, and began building my first course, my first preset pack, and the funnels and pretty front end stuff that make it all work.

I also found the #frontporchproject compliments of a few friends, and decided to try my hand at that as well. In order to capture life as it is happening right now, history from the safety of our own homes, I have been traveling to peoples homes all over San Diego, and have been capturing them from 10 ft. away.

I have a large “paparazzi lens” (Canon 70-200mm L series lens) that allows me to stay on the sidewalk or the street, and capture sweet moments on your front lawn.

I quickly realized that these are not like any regular family session. There is something magic about them. When you are stripped of your fancy Pinterest born outfits and epic location, you are left with only authenticity and love. The stress of getting “the perfect shot” are gone, and I get to watch families just LOVE on each other. PLAY with each other. Just BE. Right here, in this moment, as history happens right outside our doors.

These sessions have changed me. I am getting a glimpse into these families real lives, and capturing moments they will look back on forever; not because mom had the perfect dress, or baby smiled in every photo. But because this was the time in our lives that everything changed.

That our priorities shifted.

And love prevailed.

Our days are now measured in quality time and cups of coffee, and not alarm clocks and 500 errands before noon.

They are significant not because of the workout you completed at the gym, but because you spent the last moments of daylight watching the sun disappear in the arms of a loved one.

I pray that when this is all over, and the reality of quarantine starts to fade, that we don’t forget these moments, and the importance of slowing down. Of quality time. Of just being. 

I am going to continue these as the world opens back up. A session that isn’t really a session, but a quick moment in time.

The days are long, but the years are quick. Hold on tight, and enjoy every moment.

About a year ago I moved myself into my boudoir studio, and began the process of slowly growing from one room, to the entire top floor! It was finally time to re-do the main space, create a dressing room, and really make the studio feel like “home” if you will. I wanted to create a space that was inviting, and felt comfortable and luxurious.

Boudoir is a vulnerable thing. You are walking in to a new space, greeting a stranger, and then promptly taking off most of your clothes and posing in front of a camera. ALL of these things can be intimidating or feel foreign, so it’s MY job to make you feel right at home. Feel as though you are being empowered by an old friend, and embracing every bit of who you are. It was so important that my space reflected those things as well. I wanted to walk in and feel proud of what I had created.

My dear friend Kat is brilliant in all things design, and decided to help me tackle the project in under a week! We met, brainstormed, gathered supplies, and then got to work bright and early on a Tuesday morning. The thing is… things DID NOT GO AS PLANNED. We originally wanted to dye my pink velvet couch emerald green. ( I figured it was better to try dying the couch we had now before buying a whole new one! ) So after looking up the recipe on Rits website, buying about $20 in dye on amazon, and mixing up a 3 gallon bucket full… the couch turned grey.

So here’s the thing. Part of any creative process (photography included) is breathing through the times when everything isn’t going as planned. We could have spent an entire day trying to buy new dye, come up with new mixtures, testing a million different versions on the back of the couch, but instead we took pause. Was the grey really all that bad?

Turns out… it was BETTER. I wouldn’t have ever tried for that color on purpose but HOT DAMN if it wast just the prettiest most opalescent thing I’d ever seen. It just looked BEAUTIFUL. And once we decided to roll with it, everything just fell into place. Our new plan for wall color, accent colors, decor… it all just basically fell out of the sky and into the studio. Almost always, when we have a very specific vision, and try to wrestle that vision in submission, things don’t turn out as well as they could. You ignore the accidental magic while wrestling a light pink couch in the corner.

The same goes for photoshoots, events, life plans, house remodels… the list goes on and on. So often, if I am quick to let my “vision” become fluid, the end result is so much better than I could have ever imagined it. When brides trust me and my artistic abilities, the same rules apply. I had a bride once SO stuck on one specific location for portraits… but at the time of day we were shooting her wedding party, the light there was TERRIBLE. There was a magical little garden with BEAUTIFUL light nearby, and I assured her we could go back to her favorite location closer to sunset with her and her hubby. She hesitantly obliged, and her photos turned out absolutely incredibly. This isn’t to say that they would have been terrible her way, but on a scale from 1-10 she would have been running a solid 6. Rolling with what we had available to us at the times we were shooting, and being flexible resulted in straight 10/10 images. She trusted me. I TRUSTED ME…And the process.

There are so many lessons I learned in art school that had nothing to do with art. And this was one of them. When things get shitty. KEEP GOING. push past it. trust in the process; and if you do? You are already ahead of 75% of the population. Every. Single. Painting I did in college went through a terrible “maybe I should throw this out and start over” phase. But I always painted through it, and was always glad I did.

I have applied that mentality to all places in my life. When faced with “shitty” circumstances, or something that doesn’t fit your “vision” people often stop, or turn another direction. I challenge you to pause, breathe deep, and roll with it. Look for another way, a different way. Take your vision and look at is as the start, not the end. If where you end up doesn’t look at all like your very perfect pinterest board, its OK.

Magic is hiding behind the shitty. 

Don’t be afraid, get excited. Let that magic out.

Want to take a little peek inside our remodel process? Check out this video on Youtube, and be sure to subscribe and hit that thumbs up button if you want more where that came from! (Click the photo and enjoy!)

Alexis and Zack’s elopement was the perfect example of fate and incredible timing. Alexis was in my new shared office space (The Top Floor) meeting with Savanna who owns A Toast to Beauty, when I overheard her talking about eloping that next Monday. I asked her out of pure curiosity if anyone was going to be capturing it for her, and she said NO!! I quickly told her all of the reasons why having someone there to capture her real wedding day was so important (even though she had an epic photoshoot planned with a gorgeous dress in Utah), and how those memories were something she would want to always look back on.

I was so thrilled when she called me a few hours later, and asked if I could finagle my schedule to shoot their courthouse wedding in just a few days!

Of course it just so happened that they got married on one of San Diego’s WORST storm days of the year. Freeways were literally shutting down because of flooding, so immediately we knew that our original sunset beach photoshoot plan was NOT going to work.

As soon as they were done at the courthouse, (which can we take a moment to gush over her ADORABLE outfit?!) we ventured out into the storm, and figured if we couldn’t beat it… we should join it! Off to the San Diego Public Library we went, and MAN OH MAN was it incredible. Alexis and Zack were more than willing to get soaking wet in order to get some epic shots in the rain, and we took advantage of the cool stormy lighting and went to town.

These two are so clearly in love, and spending the afternoon with them was so much fun. Alexis and Zack had full confidence in me, and really let me do whatever it took to get “the shot”, which is always SO much fun from an artistic standpoint. Thank you both for trusting me to stick you out in the pouring rain and being willing to do anything!

This last shot is just swoon worthy to me. It’s what fairytales are made of. who cares if you get a little wet, if the result is magic like this?!!?

When Kelsey told me that she wanted to do her maternity session at Lake Cuyamaca at the end of January, I warned her that it may be a bit chilly at golden hour, but didn’t think much of it. As I drove through the twisty windy roads on my way up the mountain, I began to notice small patches of snow along the side of the road! Never did we imagine that we would happen upon this winter wonderland in SAN DIEGO!!!!

Kelsey’s dress  was the perfect shade of olive green, and we had so much fun frolicking around in the snow with her adorable little family. Kevin, Kelsey’s hubby was just the sweetest, and big brother Wyatt was just a ball of love and smiles. Watching little families like this just bring me to much joy, and really helps put into perspective what matters. At the end of the day, surrounding yourself with people who you love, and who love you in return is just the best.

I absolutely loved watching Mommy and brother interact together. Wyatt had so much love for his little sister in mommy’s tummy, all he wanted to do was love on momma.

I always make sure to get some shots of just mom and dad alone whenever I do any kind of family photo. It is so important to take them back to their roots, and focus on their love, and what makes the two of them tick, even if only for a few quick clicks of my shutter. Seeing Kelsey and Kevin light up when they looked at each other, and seeing the love Kevin had for his unborn daughter was enough to make my heart just melt.

Congratulations to the Smith family on your new bundle of joy!!